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It’s Not What You Think

Posted on October 12, 2025 by Joe Merkle

It’s what you feel

I have been dwelling on this dilemma — what function of the human psyche is responsible for healing from the loss of a loved one? Is it the brain? Can we convince ourselves mentally that we are “just over it”? Can a licensed therapist suggest a magic bullet that tears a hole through your grief and miraculously cures your depression? Or do our broken hearts need emotional surgery to make us whole again?

Let’s take a gander at the mental aspect of this. The brain is a real trickster. It can convince us of many things. Some that simply don’t exist. We easily fall into its traps of “what ifs”, “why didn’t I’s”, “how could this have happened,” “why did it have to happen”, “why did he/she have to die/leave me.” If you are reading this, I’m guessing you’ve experienced one or more of these.

Do you believe you can think your way to the proverbial ‘I’m over it’? Can it be that simple? Medicate yourself until you become a walking zombie. And then, miraculously, you wake up one morning and declare yourself cured, and just like that, everything is back to normal? Perhaps one percent of the population can be this lucky. Perhaps, but I doubt it. 

THE HEART KNOWS WHAT THE HEART KNOWS

Let’s look at this from the heart. The heart center functions as the gateway for soul (the real us). We, soul, are love. Extrapolating on this, we are eternal. So is love. I know if you have lost a loved one, you have experienced this to some degree in some way. You haven’t stopped loving them, and they haven’t stopped loving you. You will begin to recognize the signs they share with you, the more you allow this to become a fixture of your state of consciousness. They will exhibit outward signs in the physical realm. And visit with you on the inner planes through the dream state. I am certain many of you reading this have had these experiences. 

Much of this, for those fresh in their grief, may think I’m crazy. That’s okay. At one time, I would have too. All I ask is that you print this out and keep it by your bed. Read it upon waking. Read before you sleep. Believe it will happen. 

IT WILL

Every moment is a lifetime. It’s all a matter of perspective. Fill your life with love.

Category: Grief, Life, Life Lessons, Love, My Life, Spirituality

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