Aging – Writer Or Wrong

Such a daunting task

Image by https://www.freepik.com/author/davidengy

Choosing a destination vacation is a challenging task for a seventy-year-old man. I’ve done the beachy hotspots. I’ve been to mountains and deserts. I dove off Key West and San Diego.

Now I am searching for that unique vacation. Listed below are some that I am considering.

A trip to the banks of Gitche Gumee of the Shining-Big-Sea-Water. Seriously. Who wouldn’t want to experience the… ‘old woman, pointing with her finger westward, O’er the water pointing westward, to the purple clouds of sunset, fiercely the red sun descending.’ ~ The Song of Hiawatha by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
A trip to Vienna to waltz with my love in my arms (when I’m not tripping over my own two feet). Where we can find… ‘There is a fragment of tomorrow in the museum of winter frost. There is a thousand-windowed dance hall.’ ~ Little Viennese Waltz by Federico Garcia Lorca
Perhaps a trip to recall a past life in Camelot. ‘Willows whiten, aspens shiver. The sunbeam showers break and quiver. In the stream that runneth ever. By the island in the river. Flowing down to Camelot.’ ~ The Lady of Shalott (1832) by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Then I thought why not go where no one has gone before? ‘Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.’ ~ The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost
I could visit the home of my boyhood hero. ‘Robin Hood is here again: all his merry thieves. Hear a ghostly bugle-note shivering through the leaves, Calling as he used to call, faint and far away, In Sherwood, in Sherwood, about the break of day.’ ~ Sherwood by Alfred Noyes

Now as intriguing as all these might sound, they would all require great effort on my part. I would have to leave my recliner. I do this for only special occasions. For the pizza delivery guy and the Amazon Flex driver. It still irks me I have to walk 20 ft. to my mailbox six days a week. And let’s not even talk about trips to the bathroom. So exhausting.

And then I must consider the hassle of flying. Getting to the airport and waiting in endless lines for TSA employees to discover that yes, I do have toothpaste in my bag that could be used as a deadly weapon. I even had one try to extract a gold filling with her tongue. However, I didn’t mind too terribly. She was cute. Just another underpaid government employee.

Then there’s the nerve of some countries to insist on driving on the wrong side of the road. Really? Did they accidentally install steering wheels on the right side of their automobiles by mistake and thought, let’s just drive on the wrong side of the road. Thanks to Napolean, most of Europe adopted his decree to use the right side of the road.

Writing this piece has been quite exhausting. My hands are cramping up and my recliner is crying out CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE ME! Furniture has feelings too. Besides, the pizza guy just arrived. I’m open to other vacation ideas so leave me your recommendations.

Originally published at https://medium.com/bouncin-and-behavin-blogs/pondering-my-next-vacation-53a03e57403c

It has been thirteen months since my wife died. I have been suffering different stages of grief for most of that time. Then about three weeks ago, a switch flipped within me. It became apparent that I would keep waking up each morning so I might as well try to join the living once more.

I kind of went crazy. I put my house up for sale this past Friday. It sold Saturday. Yeah, that fast. For 15K more than the list price. Fortunately for me, a neighbor just put her condo up for rent and I jumped on that. I still have no clue what I am doing with the rest of my life. But I figured I would jump on this crazy real estate market while it’s hot.

After a few years of retirement, I was bored out of my mind. I took a job at the local Home Depot until I quit to take care of Nancy. While working there I made new friends. I worked with Lila (not her real name) for two years in the same department. I’d like to think we were friends.

After some time she moved on and I had not seen her for about two years. Then one day recently I came across her working in Wal-Mart and we struck up a conversation. This occurred several times and we exchanged phone numbers so we could have uninterrupted conversations.

Last week another awakening occurred. I found my balls that had been missing for years. Who knew they were still between my legs? I called Lila. The conversation went something like this.

“Hi, Lila.”

“Hey, Joe.”

“I have a huge favor to ask you. Would you be my guinea pig and go out to dinner with me? I haven’t been out since Nancy died I have no idea what might happen when I walk into a restaurant. I may turn right around and leave. But, I am ready to try.”

A moment of silence on the other end. “Sure Joe. I would like that. Let’s just see what happens.”

Three days later was “date night.” I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride all day. I was fearful that I would just fall into grief again. And I was nervous to go on my first date in 48 years.

I picked Lila up at her home. As soon as she gets in the car I start to laugh. “What”, she says with a smile.

“I feel like a sixteen-year-old on a first date,” I say. We both have a good laugh.

Lila is a gabber. The girl can talk. I’m grateful for that at this moment. No pressure on me to act like a person.

We arrive at the restaurant. We enter. I don’t lose it. I am present. In the moment. I breathe. We have a great time and I take her to my place after dinner just so she knows where I live and can pop over when and if she likes.

We had a nice conversation. It was another eye-opening moment for me. How different a first date conversation is at the ages of 69 (me) and 59 than one we would have in our twenties. We’ve already been there, done that. Marriage (she has been divorced for 10 years) kids, and homes.

She told me that her marriage was mostly loveless. I could not imagine how hard it would be to stay in a marriage that long without love. It takes a strong person to persevere in those conditions. I know the children were an obvious factor in her decision to stay.

I told her how I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by love my entire life. And if there is one thing I am good at it is love. That brought a smile to her face.

At our age, we have reached the point where we can be somewhat selfish. Who knows where this will go. If anywhere. At least I am putting my toes into the water of life again. For the first time in years, I am excited to see if I still remember how to swim.

Through all this recent activity the most striking change in me is the immense spiritual enlightenment I have recently had. Living in a state of consciousness that every moment in the day is an opportunity to make someone else’s day a touch brighter. A smile. A good morning. A compliment. And even pets. I walk in the park every day and it seems every dog being walked comes right to me for a pet. It’s awesome. Loving moments to brighten my day.

To all my Medium family. Thank you for all you have done. You have been a very significant part of my healing process. I have no idea where I would be without you. Thank you for taking this journey with me and having my back in the darkest of times. My gratitude is boundless.

Originally published @ https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/my-first-date-b0a070999ecb

Tag: Aging

Pondering My Next Vacation

My First Date In 48 Years