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Category: Love

Into The Light And Sound

Posted on June 28, 2024July 4, 2024 by Joe Merkle
Image by https://www.freepik.com/author/user8647581

She’s become my life
Her breath is mine
Her love, I inhale
As we set sail
Into the Light and Sound


Max And Mandy

Posted on May 30, 2024November 22, 2024 by Joe Merkle

A lifetime of love

Image by https://www.freepik.com/author/imrandk

Max and Mandy fell in love at first sight
On the school playground at the age of six
Sharing their M&M’s candy with delight
Mandy bold enough to kiss Max on the lips

They married young, at twenty-one
Two months passed and Max went to war
Ten months later Mandy birthed their son
Night after night she paced the floor

Six months went by without a word
She searched for answers with no avail
Sending daily letters, she was undeterred
Max suffered injuries on a German forest trail

He came home to her a wounded soul
Having witnessed the worst of mankind
Doing her best at damage control
She patched him back towards peace of mind

Many years have passed, their hair grown gray
Still holding hands as they gingerly walk the park
Sitting on “their” bench on a lovely October day
Comfortable in knowing they will soon embark

On a glorious journey that will end their pains
Where the Light and Sound will light their paths
As their undying love brings more spiritual gains
Going home, home at last

My Alabaster Arabesque

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Joe Merkle

Of Womanhood

Image by https://www.freepik.com/author/digitalartworkdownload

Her alabaster skin is a whiter shade than pale
She shuns the sunlight for safety’s sake
It matters not to those who witness her beauty
For it outshines the sun, she’s a cute patootie

She wields her womanly wiles
Her most potent weapon is her seductive smile
The corners pointing upward toward mesmerizing eyes
Which is impossible for her to disguise

As she walks away her gait is suggestive
While sashaying toward me it morphs provocative
Ironically she appears unaware of this display
Of this unintended foreplay

And her laughter is impossibly contagious
Unintentionally flirtatious 
As she dances into my welcoming arms
I’m smitten, a captive prisoner of her charms

©2024 Joe Merkle All rights reserved.

Your Perfect World Of Love

Posted on May 6, 2024May 11, 2024 by Joe Merkle

It could be anytime, anywhere
When I hold your hand, I disappear
Into your world, into your world
Into your perfect world of love

Spinning, twirling, whirling by
All the moments of my life flying by
Until I hold your hand, when time seems to stand, still
In your perfect world of love

So many days, in so many ways
I feel lost and it’s you I’m calling
And when I hold your hand, I find myself freely falling
Into your perfect world of love

©2024 Joe Merkle All rights reserved

You Are The Reason

Posted on May 6, 2024May 23, 2024 by Joe Merkle

Of This New Season

Spring

Born in spring, a new life begins
A baby boy born of woman
Inheriting his ancestor’s sins
Crying over once again being human

Summer

Youth manifests its boundless energy
Sun rays bake skin golden brown
Playing, prancing, light and fancy-free
With energy that knows no bounds

Autumn

Tree leaves that fill Van Gogh with jealousy
Love blossoms within expectant hearts
Lover’s bodies meld zealously
A lifetime ahead for these sweethearts

Winter

The icy cold clatters these aged bones
Heartbroken by Death’s finality
The flag I fly is skull and crossbones
My body, icy cold, stiff, shivering

But Then…A New Mysterious Season

An angel of mercy graced my threshold
Tossed aside my insistent futility
Gently, she removed my blindfold
Now spending eternity exploring infinity

©2024 Joe Merkle All rights reserved.

I have had the privilege of sharing great love all my life. When my wife died in May of 2021 I never thought I would feel a deep, loving connection again. But God took pity on me and sent me an angel disguised as a woman. That was rather sneaky of IT as I wanted no part of this earthly existence anymore. I am forever grateful. I just wonder what IT expects in return. Whatever it may be it should be very interesting indeed.

A Lover’s Fairytale

Posted on January 23, 2024June 15, 2024 by Joe Merkle
Image from Stock Nation

He was in no hurry. On a beautiful day such as this, every moment was one to cherish. The breeze was rustling through the palms ever so gently as the white willow wisps of clouds painted ghostly shadows on the gently rolling hills.

It had been a long time, lifetimes to Paul since he strolled through the narrow cobblestone streets of this tiny seaside fishing village. The villagers were just now beginning to start their day. The women could be heard in the houses trying to stir their families into action. Most of the men were already out to sea, hoping for a good catch to bring to market.

Paul left the road, taking his time strolling out towards the hillside that overlooked the azure waters. He stopped on the hilltop to enjoy the ocean breeze in his face and the gulls frolicking overhead that instilled a feeling of great inner peace and oneness with creation within him. He had forgotten how good it was to relax and not take the world so personally. After all, I’m just a traveler at a rest stop, not the conqueror of empires.

The laughter of the children playing on the beach that spread out below him snapped Paul from his revelry. What greater joy could be found than in a child’s laughter. And then he saw her. From this distance, it was hard to tell if she was one of the children. Round and round she raced with the kids, laughing and splashing in the surf that caressed the white sand beach. “I do believe this merits investigation,” he said to himself. Without further hesitation, he ripped off his shoes and ran down to the beach.

Paul was stunned. She was drop-dead gorgeous. She had a timeless beauty that would have been stunning in any century. Her long blonde hair and soft pastel dress lent an air of radiance about her. As she approached him her large green eyes and marvelously sculptured lips broke into an irresistible smile that could melt the polar ice cap. The web was already cast, and Paul was the contented victim.

“Hi, there. A beautiful day, is it not?” said a voice that could make angels jealous. While Paul tried to find his voice all he could do was shake his head in the affirmative and grin stupidly. “Would you like to play tag with us? Oh, I’m sorry, let me introduce myself. I’m Keeri, and you are?”

“P-Paul,” he managed to stutter over a still handicapped tongue.

Keeri had a questioning look in her eyes, thinking to herself that Paul must be new around here for she could not remember seeing him before. And she would most definitely remember that event. As she studied him more closely she came to the conclusion he was attractive, h-m-m, extremely attractive, she thought. He stood about six inches taller than her, she being five foot nine. His body was, well, perfect. He had deep-set blue eyes that exuded a penetrating strength but a sense of serenity at the same time. His chin was strong with a sexy cleft, his nose slightly bigger than ideal, and his brown hair looked as if it hadn’t been cut for some time. But it was his smile and lips that caught her attention as she found herself wanting to kiss them a few thousand times at this very moment.

“Sure”, said Paul. I’d love to play with you, and, uh, the kids.”

As they played and laughed and shared their love of children their admiration for each other grew. Their glances grew longer until they could no longer keep their eyes from one another. No longer did they hear the water lapping on the shore or the gulls screeching overhead. They became a world unto themselves, living for the moment, afraid to ask questions better left unanswered.

Never had either of them felt such a powerful connection before. It was as if there was no beginning or end to this crazy love, it was simply waiting for fulfillment.

Keeri took Paul to one of her favorite secluded spots along the shore. With the sound of the water breaking on the shore, they spent what was left of the morning making love and making friends. Keeri then suggested they grab a morsel of food and some homemade wine.

As they wound their way through the mostly deserted, narrow village streets Kari asked, “Where are you from Paul?”

Paul stifled a laugh and replied, “Well to tell you the truth I’ve never lived in one place long enough to call home. If I had to pick one I guess it would be Chicago.”

“How about family, friends, or maybe a wife?” laughed Keeri with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

“No family alive. A few friends scattered all over the globe. Negative on the wife.”

“Sorry about your family. I never did catch your last name.”

“Winter, what’s yours?”

“Sorenson.”

“Have you lived here all your life?” asked Paul.

“Since I was three. We moved from Minnesota. My parents have been dead for some time now. My older brother and sister got me through my teen years. And, they have the scars to prove it. My sister married and followed her husband to St. John’s and my brother John went back to the States. It gets lonely sometimes but there are always stray sailors coming ashore to entertain me” joked Keeri with a mischievous smile. “Here’s the place I call home.”

It was a small but quaint bungalow with colorful red bricks that matched the cobblestone road that led to it. “Come on in and take a load off,” said Keeri. Paul had other ideas and swept her into his arms and carried her through the small living area into the bedroom. Several hours later as Keeri was throwing some dinner together she asked Paul, “Have you been on the island long?”

“Just got in yesterday,” was Paul’s brief customary reply.

“What do you do that requires so much traveling?” she asked.

“I’m a writer.”

“I didn’t know writers traveled so much. I know, you’re a travel writer, right?”

Trying hard to suppress a laugh Paul said, “No-oo. I was a news journalist for many years. It was a very exciting job at first, but it became limiting in the sense that the media considers all the negative aspects of life as news. It was becoming harder and harder for me to smile and laugh. So I quit, bought a sailboat, and set out looking for fairy tales to write.”

Keeri just sat staring into his deep blue eyes which reflected a certain ageless quality while trying to figure out just what she was getting herself into. “You’re a strange man Paul Winter. I’ve known you for less than a day and I love you like I’ve known you for lifetimes. I feel like a giddy school girl.”

Paul’s typical blunt response, “Hey, let’s eat and head out to catch the sunset with some of that wicked wine of yours.”

“Sounds good to me.”

They both ate in silence, consumed with the notion that something very special was happening. Paul had never known love such as this could exist for him. God, she’s beautiful. She is so alive. I’m the firewood and she’s the match.

On the other side of the table for two Keeri was bubbling over with wonder over this whole crazy affair. Nothing like this had ever remotely entered her mind. Never had she met a man with such quiet strength and at the same time such an easy laugh. He had a contagious laugh that was irresistible. And the eyes, so mysterious, as if there were so many secrets he could share if only…

“Dinner was awesome. What fish was that?”

“Mahi Mahi, with coconut rice and my homemade mango salsa,” smiled a proud Keeri while she twirled like a schoolgirl.

“Wow! That was so amazing. She can cook too!’ exclaimed Paul with a laugh. “Come on. We’re going to miss that sunset. Grab the wine and let’s head for hills.”

It was an idyllic evening. A warm tropical breeze toyed with Keeri’s hair, which seemed on fire, reflecting the crimson hues that were painting the sky with reds and oranges. Not to be outdone, the thin, wispy clouds were mirrors reflecting the beautiful colors.

“It’s as if God has painted a picture for us tonight,” said Keeri. They sat there on the hilltop in silence, awed by the spectacle surrounding them.

Paul, lying on his back, began to write something in the air with his finger. Wondering what weird thing he was up to Keeri could not hold back her curiosity. “Now what are doing?”

“I’m writing our initials in the sky,” said a very serious Paul who may have been feeling the effects of the wine.

“A little tipsy Paul?” laughed Keeri.

“No, really, come here and I’ll show you,” stated the still serious Paul. With Keeri lying next to him cheek to cheek Paul pointed to a cloud in the sky and said, “there, you see it? Plain as day, K.S. and P.W.”

“No,” said a suspicious Keeri who was beginning to wonder if she fell for a madman.

“Watch, I’ll trace it for you.” He took Keeri’s hand, pointed her finger, and began to trace their initials. Now it seemed to Keeri, lying there in total wonderment, that their initials were forming in the clouds. “Yes, yes I can see them now!” exclaimed Keeri.

Paul rolled over, giving her a big kiss, looked deeply into her eyes, and said with a snicker in his voice, “Who’s feeling a little tipsy now?” With that he slapped her fanny, leaped up, and began to run down the hill laughing, not forgetting to grab the wine on the way.

Keeri followed screaming, “I’ll get you for that!” When they were both exhausted they fell on the beach laughing in between gasps for air.

When she was finally able to squelch the giggles Keeri asked, “Please take me to your boat. I’d like to see where the famous Paul Winter, spinner of yarns, makes his home.” They took their time getting to the pier where Paul’s boat was docked. “What’s her name?” she asked as they mounted the deck.

“The Winds of Mer Kailesh.” “Where’s Mer Kailesh?” asked Keeri. Paul responded with a glimmer in his eye, “That’s another fairytale. Come on, I’ll show you around.” After a brief tour and some moonlight skinny-dipping, they sat on the deck finishing the wine while being lulled by the gentle waves caressing the boat.

“Stargazing is lovely for a while, but let’s go to bed,” whispered Keeri seductively. “Yeah, I’m really tired,” laughed Paul.

Keeri rose along with the sun. She had not slept all night thinking about this strange and wonderful man. She found some paper and a pen and began to write.

Dearest Paul,
Never have I known love could reach such heights. My time spent with you was like heaven on earth. It is funny, but I was afraid I would fall in love with you and be crushed when you left. But I’m aglow and blushing with a radiance I’ve never felt before. My love for you will never end — I think you know that. See you when I see you.

Love Keeri
PS Write about us. It will make a great fairytale.

She walked down the small pier feeling silly, laughing out loud. Besides, I get seasick. And I did see those initials.

Paul’s effort to open his eyes was like a drawbridge struggling to raise its heavy load. For someone who rarely drank alcohol, the wine had certainly taken its toll. “Hello, anybody home?” There was no response. Maybe she went for a swim. He saw the note Keeri left sitting on the deck chair and began to read it. Amazing. I’m sitting here waiting for this great depression to descend upon me, and all I can do is sit here with this silly smile on my face. Paul dove into the crystal blue waters for a swim, thinking all the while of the love that had blossomed in him. The perfect lady on a perfect day. He dried himself off and picked up the note and read once again.

PS Write about us, it will make a great fairytale. “Yes it would,” he said to the seagull gliding overhead, sure it was Jonathan. He picked up his pen and wrote.

Lover’s poem

When we meet
We shall touch the stars
The little children will laugh at us
And to each we shall teach love

And we’ll float on the soft summer breeze
I’ll carve our initials in the clouds
And in a fleeting moment
That which is not tangible shall succumb

And our love will become inimitable

Will explore the silver moon
And search for the silver man
And we’ll mix the colors on the palette
And paint the world

Then we’ll say our goodbyes
And no regrets will there be
Only happy memories we share
And our initials in the clouds

Dedicated to a Golden Lady with eternal love
Paul Winter

Originally published on Medium.com

You Can Only Be You

Posted on January 22, 2024January 22, 2024 by Joe Merkle

That is a good thing

Photo by Ben Robbins on Unsplash

You can only be you. That is a good thing.

As a child, I dreamed I wanted to be Superman, The Flash, Spiderman, Willie Mays, Sandy Koufax, Zeus, Davy Crockett, Tarzan, Zorro, Paul McCartney, and others. It is my firm belief that I was not unusual. There is nothing like a child’s imagination when it comes to creating fantasies. Or is there?

Then we leap into the world of teen madness. The Twilight Zone, where children’s dreams go to die. Yes, the brave new world where that horrible word responsibility enters our vocabulary. I am a firm believer that the average life span of a human should be twelve years. Yes. I know. There would be fertility issues.

As a teen, I wanted to be…uh-hmm, hell if I know. Though I was a good athlete, I was not going to get drafted by the Yankees. I was average. I managed to get good grades without trying. I was socially adequate without trying. I found girls attractive. But not enough to have to convince me it was worth the effort. The greatest achievement I attained in high school was having a modicum of success without trying.

Realizing this I began to ask myself challenging questions. What’s the point of all this? Why am I here? What am I missing? It certainly was not love. I lived with and was part of a loving family. I was not destitute. My family was typical middle-class. Back when that meant something. So, I decided to go on a mission in my junior year.

A spiritual exploration. I was raised Catholic even though my parents seldom went to mass. Did I believe Jesus was the Son of God? Well…yes. But no more than any of us. I considered him and his message to be from a highly enlightened soul who chose to be a coworker with God and make the supreme effort to share his spiritual knowledge with the world. Not unlike many such souls that have walked this earth since the beginning of time and continue to this day to work behind the scenes to help us all.

I and a good friend of mine explored Buddhism for some time. I began to see a common thread. Highly evolved souls that incarnate on earth do not seek earthly rewards. If they do attain material riches they are not attached to them. In Buddha’s case, he walked away from great wealth and influence as a prince to live the life of a beggar taking charity from others. This raised an interesting question in my mind. Does one have to give up the pursuit of material things to reach spiritual enlightenment?

Then one day I was in a bookstore exploring the spirituality section and came across a book written by Brad Steiger, In My Soul I Am Free. In it, the author spends many hours with Paul Twitchell who was the modern-day founder of Eckankar. It delves into the life of Paul and discusses in length the teachings of soul travel and so much more. It has come to light through the years that Steiger was being Steiger and some of what he relates in the book is rubbish. But in the end, the result was bringing to light a most important message to the world. We are souls and we don’t have to die to experience it.

I was given a gift that day in 1972. The most precious of gifts. The realization that I am soul. Not that I have a soul. I am soul. Temporarily using this body. This changed my life in so many ways. It began to slowly sink into my thick skull that it was not an accident I happened to be in that bookstore on that day. That my life was about to drastically change. Scary stuff for a nineteen-year-old. Finally, I had something worth trying.

This all led me to my exploratory years. Those young adult years when everything is on the table. College, sex, drugs, alcohol, travel, work. It was a busy, exciting, life-altering, period of my life. During all of this I had read In My Soul I Am Free several times. Each time brought more moments of enlightenment. Was it the book? Or was I awakening to the fact I am soul? Or both? I can’t really say. In the end, it doesn’t matter. It all led to a most amazing life.

A life filled with great love, adventure, misadventures, and a greater understanding as to why I have been so blessed in this life. It really is a simple formula. It goes like this. Love God (by any name). Share God’s love.

In good times and bad times. All the time. Realize you are soul using a body to accelerate your learning curve. We learn the most from the lessons that test us. Each lesson is just a step toward graduation. There are always teachers guiding us, placing us in positions that test our resolve that eventually open us up to greater understanding. Most often we lack the awareness of their most generous guidance.

How does one gain that awareness? Do you remember when you first learned to drive? Your parents or driver-ed teachers guided you and helped you master what would become an amazing world-changing event. Your outlook and understanding of the world around you grew exponentially. You traveled to places you had never been to.

It is no different when traveling the inner worlds. Spiritual guides help us maneuver through amazing, consciousness-raising experiences throughout higher planes that exist for the benefit of our enlightenment. Most often this is done in the dream state. Why do they choose this task? Love. And so one day we may follow in their footsteps.

On earth, as it is in heaven.

So often throughout human history ignorance and misunderstanding of the role these advanced souls play in our journey home have shined a light on the purpose we are all here for. To learn to rise above ignorance, prejudice, and hate. We will continue to return to the physical plane for countless lifetimes until we learn the only lesson worth learning.

LOVE GOD ABOVE ALL ELSE. BE AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS TO FOLLOW. THE REWARDS FOR THIS? INDESCRIBABLE SPIRITUAL AWE.

©2022 Joe Merkle All rights reserved.

I realize this piece will have different effects on those that read this. I apologize if this article offends you in any way. It is not intended to do so. Things of a spiritual nature always affect others in unique ways. Each of us is on our own personal journey and like the title of this article states you can only be you. And how wonderful is that? The path we walk toward God-realization is uniquely ours. We have eternity to get there.

May the blessings be.

Originally published on Medium.com

Dear Nancy

Posted on January 20, 2024January 20, 2024 by Joe Merkle

My love

Image by author

A letter to my wife.

Dear Nancy,

As you well know, I was just 21 when we met. I had no clue what love was. Like everyone else at that age, I thought I did. Upon reflection, nothing could be further from the truth.

If someone at that time told me that I was going to meet this spectacularly beautiful woman who would fall madly in love with me, I would have asked them if they were tripping. I wasn’t looking for love. I was content and married to music then. Way back when my fingers still worked. Of course, you know that.

You were all my wishes come true. Though I didn’t it know then. From the moment we met, I knew I loved you. I know, it wasn’t rational. What’s rational about love?

I am still amazed at how easy love was for you. You gave it freely with no conditions attached. To everyone. But I will be eternally grateful you chose me to share eternity with. Particularly this life, as I am still left to deal with this one for a little while longer.

I have to say that you were one crazy chick when we met. It’s no wonder why I was so attracted to you. Besides your smoking hot body. We became good friends. How many times did we walk down the hall to one another’s apartment to get high and have a beer or six? I think that’s when you fell for my witty charm and good looks. Or began to feel sorry for me. Either way, it worked.

It wasn’t long after that I had the most significant moment in my life. The moment that would shape my future in the most amazing and unimaginable ways. We kissed. Both of us were not sure as you were still in a relationship, though it was failing. That moment in time will be forever imprinted in my brain. But, more importantly, it was the spark that reminded us, souls, that we are forever joined in love.

Every day was special from that moment. Through the good times and bad times. Through all the laughter and tears. Through the births of our children and the deaths of our parents. We had to learn what all parents learn. How to let go. How to watch them leave the nest and spread their wings. Because of you, it was easier than I expected. You just took it in stride, knowing the foundation we created prepared them as best we could.

I am sitting here trying to share with you everything you mean to me. I can’t. Words just fail miserably. All the times you were there for me. For the kids. Hell, for everyone. I only wish I could walk out of the office and hug you from behind like I’ve done a million times while you are preparing something in the kitchen. To kiss your neck until you can’t help but turn to me and say “Stop it. I won’t get dinner done,” as you come in for a kiss with a smile lighting the way.

You should know that many of our friends have been showing me kindness since you moved on. That should come as no surprise as they loved you dearly. As I am sure you are aware our children are coping with your departure in their way. I think it would help our daughter Kelly immensely if you visited her occasionally in her dreams to let her know everything is fine. She is still struggling and occasionally needs a mom hug.

I need to tell you this. You were an amazing mother. And wife. And lover. And friend. And daughter. And sister. You are no longer those things. You are soul. As we all are. And my love for you knows no bounds. It is endless. As is yours. Though you are not here to hold me in your arms your love enfolds me every minute of my life. For this my gratitude is boundless. I thank you for sharing with me such wondrous love. See you soon. Visit anytime.

PS. Take care of our little boy Chewy. I’m sure he is ecstatic about having his favorite lap back in his life.

© 2022 Joe Merkle All rights reserved

Originally published on Medium.com

My First Date In 48 Years

Posted on December 6, 2023December 6, 2023 by Joe Merkle
Photo by Trần Long: Pexels

It has been thirteen months since my wife died. I have been suffering different stages of grief for most of that time. Then about three weeks ago, a switch flipped within me. It became apparent that I would keep waking up each morning so I might as well try to join the living once more.

I kind of went crazy. I put my house up for sale this past Friday. It sold Saturday. Yeah, that fast. For 15K more than the list price. Fortunately for me, a neighbor just put her condo up for rent and I jumped on that. I still have no clue what I am doing with the rest of my life. But I figured I would jump on this crazy real estate market while it’s hot.

After a few years of retirement, I was bored out of my mind. I took a job at the local Home Depot until I quit to take care of Nancy. While working there I made new friends. I worked with Lila (not her real name) for two years in the same department. I’d like to think we were friends.

After some time she moved on and I had not seen her for about two years. Then one day recently I came across her working in Wal-Mart and we struck up a conversation. This occurred several times and we exchanged phone numbers so we could have uninterrupted conversations.

Last week another awakening occurred. I found my balls that had been missing for years. Who knew they were still between my legs? I called Lila. The conversation went something like this.

“Hi, Lila.”

“Hey, Joe.”

“I have a huge favor to ask you. Would you be my guinea pig and go out to dinner with me? I haven’t been out since Nancy died I have no idea what might happen when I walk into a restaurant. I may turn right around and leave. But, I am ready to try.”

A moment of silence on the other end. “Sure Joe. I would like that. Let’s just see what happens.”

Three days later was “date night.” I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride all day. I was fearful that I would just fall into grief again. And I was nervous to go on my first date in 48 years.

I picked Lila up at her home. As soon as she gets in the car I start to laugh. “What”, she says with a smile.

“I feel like a sixteen-year-old on a first date,” I say. We both have a good laugh.

Lila is a gabber. The girl can talk. I’m grateful for that at this moment. No pressure on me to act like a person.

We arrive at the restaurant. We enter. I don’t lose it. I am present. In the moment. I breathe. We have a great time and I take her to my place after dinner just so she knows where I live and can pop over when and if she likes.

We had a nice conversation. It was another eye-opening moment for me. How different a first date conversation is at the ages of 69 (me) and 59 than one we would have in our twenties. We’ve already been there, done that. Marriage (she has been divorced for 10 years) kids, and homes.

She told me that her marriage was mostly loveless. I could not imagine how hard it would be to stay in a marriage that long without love. It takes a strong person to persevere in those conditions. I know the children were an obvious factor in her decision to stay.

I told her how I have been fortunate to have been surrounded by love my entire life. And if there is one thing I am good at it is love. That brought a smile to her face.

At our age, we have reached the point where we can be somewhat selfish. Who knows where this will go. If anywhere. At least I am putting my toes into the water of life again. For the first time in years, I am excited to see if I still remember how to swim.

Through all this recent activity the most striking change in me is the immense spiritual enlightenment I have recently had. Living in a state of consciousness that every moment in the day is an opportunity to make someone else’s day a touch brighter. A smile. A good morning. A compliment. And even pets. I walk in the park every day and it seems every dog being walked comes right to me for a pet. It’s awesome. Loving moments to brighten my day.

To all my Medium family. Thank you for all you have done. You have been a very significant part of my healing process. I have no idea where I would be without you. Thank you for taking this journey with me and having my back in the darkest of times. My gratitude is boundless.

©2022 Joe Merkle All rights reserved.

Originally published @ https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/my-first-date-b0a070999ecb

Her Most Prized Possession

Posted on December 2, 2023December 2, 2023 by Joe Merkle

The key

Photo by Konstantin Evdokimov on Unsplash

It was Abbi’s tenth birthday party when she received the greatest gift of her life. Though she didn’t know it then. After she opened all of her presents she couldn’t help but notice her favorite person in the world did not give her a gift. Her Grandpa Joe.

“Abbi. Come outside with me for a minute. I have something to give you,” Grandpa said.

A big smile crossed her face as she thought, it must be something really big he couldn’t wrap.

He reached for a simple envelope in his car and handed it to her. “There is no greater gift I can give to you my sweet girl. Treasure this. Always keep it close. A day will come when it will change your life.”

Abbi opened the unsealed envelope and found a small key attached to a simple rope chain. She took it from the envelope. “I don’t understand, Grandpa. A key? A key to what?”

Grandpa laughed. His usual highly contagious, guttural laugh. He picked her up in his arms and nearly squeezed the life from her. “Promise me you will keep this safe. When you are older this key will change everything for you.”

“I promise. Is it a bank key with lots of money? Or a key to my house I will have when I’m a grownup?”

“Oh no, my sweet granddaughter. It’s far more valuable than that. I wanted to give this to you now because I am getting older by the day. And of all my children and grandchildren you will benefit the most from it. Of that, I am sure.”

“Okay, Grandpa. I will keep it with all my other treasures in my special hiding place.”

Her twenty-fifth birthday was three weeks away. It was going to be her worst birthday. Abbi was holding on to her husband’s arm for dear life as they walked up to the coffin to say their last respects. She looked down at the man who resembled her Grandpa Joe. But it wasn’t him. The light that shone so brightly from within him was gone. Memories came flooding back. Sitting in his lap as he read to her. The first time he took her ice skating. Teaching her how to play guitar. The man had the patience of a saint. Always being there for her school plays. For all her graduations. Her wedding. For her life. And now he’s gone. She promised herself she wouldn’t cry at the service. It was a promise she failed to keep as she buried her face in her husband’s chest. He’ll never meet our children.

She went to her father, the spitting image of his father, Grampa Joe. “Oh, dad,” she said as they hugged each other tightly. He nearly squeezed the breath from her. Stirring another unforgettable memory. More tears.

Mom came to the rescue. Grabbing Abbi’s hand she said, “Come with me. I have something for you.” They stepped outside of the funeral home and went to her parent’s car. Her mom reached in and handed her the manilla envelope she had grabbed. “Your Grandfather gave us this on your tenth birthday. He asked that we give it to you upon his death. He said you will know what to do with it.”

Abbi was dumbstruck. My tenth birthday? The memory of that day came flooding back like a tidal wave. She had forgotten all about the key she was gifted with that day. But I know where it is! “Oh, mom,” she said while she squeezed her mom.

“What is it, honey? Do you know what’s in the envelope?”

“On my tenth birthday, Grampa gave me a key. He told me it was the greatest gift he could give me. To keep it safe. And that I would understand when I got older. I had forgotten all about that key. I’m guessing now that I’m older there is information in the envelope about the key.”

“Well, that sounds like something your grandfather would do. Let’s get back inside before our husbands get lost without us,” her mom said while trying to lighten the mood.

“What’s that?” Abbi’s husband Steve asked while pointing at the envelope.

“It’s a long story. If it’s okay with you I will tell you tonight when we get home.”

“No problem, Pooh.” She inherited that nickname when they first started dating when Steve found out she was a big Winnie The Pooh fan. She warned him back then to never use it in public.

Abbi and Steve arrived home late that evening. Emotionally drained and physically exhausted. They lay intertwined on the bed. Glad to be home. “I can tell your mind is going a mile a minute. What’s up?” he inquired.

“I can’t get my mind off that envelope.”

“So, open it. Do you want me to get it?”

“No. It can wait until tomorrow. I won’t get any sleep if I open it now.” They were both asleep in minutes.

Steve awakened to an empty bed. Slipping from the bed, he threw on some sweats and went on a wife hunt.

After searching everywhere, he looked in the basement as a last resort. There he found his wife. Surrounded by boxes she had brought with her when they bought the house. “I can’t find it, Steve. I can’t find the treasure box I kept when I was little. The key was in that box,” she mumbled.

“Let me help. Was it a cardboard box?”

“No. It was a treasure box my Grampa bought me when I was very young.” Drawing a picture in the air for Steve she said, “It was this big.” It had a keyhole with a key. All my treasures were in there.”

“Well, not all of them,” as he moved in to kiss her.

“Okay. So maybe not,” she smiled in response.

“Are you sure you moved it? Could it still be at your parents’ house?”

“I’m pretty sure I got everything out of there. It’s got to be here somewhere.”

“It’s okay. We will find it. Why don’t we do this? I’ll throw some breakfast together and you can see what’s in the envelope?”

“Breakfast sounds good. I like your plan.”

She sat at the table while Steve was creating pleasing aromas. Opening the envelope, she dumped the contents onto the table. “Oh my God. I can’t believe this! He saved every birthday card I ever sent him.” She stood up and took a card over to show Steve. “Look at this. I had to be like four or five.”

Steve looked at the card while Abbi leaned against him. It was no surprise that Winnie The Pooh took center stage in it. Hape berday Gapa was written in purple crayon. Her tears were streaming down his bare chest. “Wow. He really cherished you,” was his only response.

Mixed in with the cards she found a handwritten letter. She read the letter to her husband.

Dear Abbi,

I have loved you since the day you were born. Some things in life are unexplainable. Love is certainly one of those. Those instant love connections between two strangers. You shared with me the love you felt for Steve the instant you met him. I knew then you would marry him and have a wonderful life together. I knew the very first time I laid eyes on you that we would share a special bond. The key I gave you long ago is the key to this bond between us. I know if you are reading this I have moved on to better and brighter things. Don’t be sad for me. I am having the most amazing time with your grandmother. Now, down to business. You will find a small chest in the workroom of my basement. That key I gave you will open the chest. Do you remember what I told you when I gave you the key? That it will be the greatest gift you will ever receive? I might have exaggerated a bit. But not much. I hope Steve is reading this with you. I have inside information your family will be growing soon. Wonderful gifts are in your future. I’ve already met your children. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will love you forever.

Grampa

PS. If you lost the key just break the latch open. I won’t be needing it anymore.

Tom brought their plates over and kissed the top of her head before sitting down. “I should have bought stock in Kleenex,” he said while handing her a box. “Eat before it gets cold. Shit. We’re going to have kids. I mean that in a good way. He met our children?”

Taking a bite of the omelet Tom conjured up she said, “You should have been a chef. I’m so grateful I married a man who could cook. If you teach our children I may never have to cook again,” she joked.

“Uhm, no. As long as I’m alive you will be required to make your Chicken a la King.”

“Okay,” she laughed. “I suppose if I must. I’m going to shower before getting back to the search.”

“Yeah. I need a shower as well. I’m feeling dirty,” he said with a devious smile.

After some well-deserved sexual recreation, they both returned to the basement to search for the key. After hearing Abbi say time after time “I can’t believe I saved this stuff,” she jumped up with the key in her hand. “YES! I FOUND IT! Come on Steve. We need to get to Grampa’s house and find that chest.”

“This is hard,” she said as she unlocked the front door to enter her Grampa’s house for what could be the last time. She stood just inside the door. Scanning the room she knew so well. Trying to leave a mental image in her mind she would never forget. The painting of her grandmother as a young woman. Family photos scattered everywhere. And the Grampa smells. His scent was everywhere. Steve took her hand. “Come on, Pooh. Let’s go downstairs and find this treasure chest.”

In just minutes they found a small chest with a lock on it. The key given to Abbi years ago slid in easily. “I feel like we just found a pirate treasure,” she said while opening the chest.

Within the chest were books and journals. This is the greatest treasure? She put the books aside and began to examine the journals. Her grandfather journaled his spiritual experiences. Decades worth. Sharing inner experiences while soul traveling. She was mesmerized as she lightly scanned through one of them. “My God, Tom. Are you seeing this?”

Tom sat skimming through one of the books. It was titled In My Soul I Am Free. It was a first-edition print dated 1968. He picked up another titled Stranger By The River. The print date was 1980. Skimming through it he found many highlighted passages her grandfather must have thought were significant. “Listen to this,” as he read. “As long as the mind continues with thee in its present state, even the love for the beautiful, it is pouring its God energies into the external world and unbalancing Soul’s forces. So, I tell you to turn thy energies within and receive the blessings of God. Here’s another one. How does one reach the state beyond self? That state is beyond wisdom and beyond all but love. I tell you this when you have attained wisdom and gone beyond illusion, then you shall shine forth with splendor, as doth the sun shining upon the earth.” “Wow, Pooh. Maybe your grandfather was right. Just maybe you have been given the greatest gifts one can give.”

It all began to make sense to Abbi. How nothing ever seemed to bother or upset her grandpa. He always seemed to be in a state of calm. He was in awe of the simplest of things life had to offer. She realized at that moment he had always been her shining light. “I miss him more than ever. I have so many questions now.”

“Listen to this one. All things will gravitate to thee if ye will let love enter thine own heart, without compromise. Love inspires the heart, first as human love. This is the love that desires to serve its beloved, husband, wife, children, family, friends, or human ideals, and things of this world, during thy existence here in this life. Then the heart becomes refined by selflessness and love possesses thee. He never talked to you about any of this?”

“Let’s get this packed up and take this chest home. We have the rest of our lives to digest this. And Tom? Be honest with me. Is this freaking you out?”

“Absolutely! In the best way possible. Think about this, Pooh. We get to give our children the greatest gift possible. And it all came from the love your grandfather had for you.”

“Did I tell you lately how much I love you,” she said.

“Yes. In the shower this morning,” he said with the biggest grin.

Abbi bought a lovely gold chain for the key. She wears it every day.

© 2022 Joe Merkle All rights reserved.

NOTE: Both the books mentioned in this story are available on Amazon.

Originally published at https://medium.com/the-lark/her-most-prized-possession-ded9308a7e59

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